If there is one person to blame for this acute sense of loneliness, it would be myself, for alienating those who care. I know I should be proactive and be better at getting back to people, but I can never seem to find the energy in me. This semester has been insane, and I wonder if I’m capable of making choices at all. There is so much that needs to be done but there simply isn’t enough time, or rather I need to stop holing myself up at home (with the excuse that Cancerians regain their energy from recharging alone at home, or so says K). This only hit me yesterday on MSN with Z
me: (giving Z details of the whole event)
Z: so who’s your best friend now?
me: no one
Z: so who do yo go to for bnj and bitch over ciggie sessions?
me: idk anymore
Don’t get me wrong my dearest friends, I can still talk to each and everyone of you the way I could. It’s just that we had a connection, an understanding on a level that superceeded even lovingly married couples. With that said, I do not regret telling B what I did and I’m thankful to B for the intervention. But at the end of it all, I do miss her and I don’t know what to do about everything right now.
carman's at e annoyin stage nw so mom's comin bk 2 tk care of her while i go bk 2 work..call me 2nt..gotta settle deets