• to clean up others’ mess
• to fix things anymore
• to mend myself
• to be the last to see the light
• anyone to see me broken and vulnerable ever again
• you, you and you in my life anymore
• to cry myself to sleep ever again
• to be me
• to be here on earth

deserve a blog post all to yourself.

the number of times you have disappointed me as a friend is ridiculous. i don’t ask you for much, just that you live up to your promises. you’ve not only left me stranded now, but you’ve left my friend stranded. it’s 2 weeks to go, and it’s peak season. what am i supposed to do?

The more I see of you, the more I realize I like being around you. I like how silly you are, and how I just wanna run into you and tell you to stop and see I’m right here. It’s nice to believe again

i look at you in a way i’ve never looked at anyone before

apparently i’m not as strong as i think i am
seeing once-familiar faces made me realize that there’s really no one who can count on to be there 24/7 for the rest of your life. not only because of the frailty of relationships but also the fact that everyone has their OWN lives

i miss who i was. i might have been more naive, but i liked that i was happy

tomorrow will not be a better day because you’re going to sleep willing for that to happen. it might happen, but don’t count on it

home is not where the heart is. sometimes one will never know home. and in this case, i think i’m quite fine with being a nomad.

i am who i am today and right now because of everything that has happened to me. who you see today is slightly different from who you saw yesterday. every day hardens my heart a bit more

there is so much uncertainty, and so much indecision.

being in love with something or someone is different to being in love with the idea of being in love with something or someone.

i say i don’t wanna hate you, but i really do.

tomorrow, i might wake up and be completely over you, but today, right now, i still am crazy for you.

just because i haven’t done or said anything to you does not mean that i have no inkling about what you’ve done and what has happened.

it really annoys the living hell out of me when people tell me they know me, then say something that contradicts that belief.

there are many things i want that i would not give in to.

every time i ask myself why i do a certain thing to myself, i realize the answer is “because i want to be happy, because i want to escape for a little while. to a place where i don’t hear the world or even myself”.

Report for Cheryl Anne Lee, born 02/07/1987.

Your Life Path number is 7.

A Life Path 7 person is a peaceful and affectionate soul, and by nature rather reserved and analytical. The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown; you will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find. Intellectual, scientific and studious, you don’t accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at you own independent conclusion. This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age. You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams. You dislike crowds, noise and confusion. You are very thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to be a meet a high standard of performance, too. You evaluate situations very quickly and with amazing accuracy. You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone; your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you are one who tends to follow the directions they seem to guide. It’s easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people. You aren’t one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it’s for life. You really aren’t a very social person, and your reserve is often taken to be aloofness. Actually, it’s not that at all, but merely a cover up for your basic feeling of insecurity. You actually like being alone, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic.

In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive. A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences, is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration and because there is such a negative attitude. The negative 7 is very selfish and spoiled. If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of because you tend to feel that the world really does owe you a living or in some way is not being fairly treated. Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits. This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows. Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.

Pinnacles and Challenges

The pinnacles and challenges in your life show your response to your environment during the period of time that these influences are in effect. The timing of pinnacles and challenges are simultaneous, and mark the four phases of your life. The pinnacle number is usually considered a benevolent force, while the challenge number is just that, a challenge during those years.

First Pinnacle…9

Selflessness is often difficult for a young person, so the tone of this influence may be but barely detectable. You may be the type of person who is a friend to those who have few friends, a protector to those who might be the favorites of bullies, and generally a helping person in whatever way you talent permits. As you mature in our modern society, you are apt to embrace humanitarian political views and ideals.

Second Pinnacle…9

With the number 9 energy apparent on the second pinnacle, you may at times express very emotional and dramatic humanitarian views and ideals and become a champion of the need for tolerance and compassion in the world. You may possess a universal view of the world, working in ways that will benefit mankind.

Third Pinnacle…9

With the number 9 energy apparent on the third pinnacle, you may at times express very emotional and dramatic humanitarian views and ideals and become a champion of the need for tolerance and compassion in the world. You may possess a universal view of the world, working in ways that will benefit mankind.

Fourth Pinnacle…5

With the fourth pinnacle showing 5, any desire to retire or slow down is not likely to be fulfilled. Change and variety will continue to keep your occupied and busy. If you are adaptable, this can be a very interesting time in your life. In most cases, a final pinnacle of 5 means freedom from financial or domestic worries.

Your first challenge, starting at birth and lasting until age 29 is a number 5. The challenge of the number 5 suggests that your challenge is to overcome the desire and the demand for freedom at any price. This challenge number is very difficult to handle because, with it, you are apt to be extremely impulsive; you want to try everything at least once, and you are rather unstable in many ways. Change may be necessary for you, but it must be handled in an intelligent and controlled manner. Make certain that the desire for change is not associated with a desire to escape responsibility. In any event, this challenge requires that you learn as early as possible in life to control your impulses.

Your second challenge, starts the following year and lasts until age 38 is a number 5. The challenge of the number 5 suggests that your challenge is to overcome the desire and the demand for freedom at any price. This challenge number is very difficult to handle because, with it, you are apt to be extremely impulsive; you want to try everything at least once, and you are rather unstable in many ways. Change may be necessary for you, but it must be handled in an intelligent and controlled manner. Make certain that the desire for change is not associated with a desire to escape responsibility. In any event, this challenge requires that you learn as early as possible in life to control your impulses.

Your third challenge, starts the next year and lasts until age 47 is a number 0. The obstacles life during this period may not be many, or they may be coming from all directions. The challenge of the number 0 is called the challenge of choice. You are likely to have difficulty acting on your preferences. You are perfectly capable of analyzing a situation and realistically comparing possible solutions. The challenge of 0 may make bring this decision to requisite action very difficult for you. To overcome the challenge, it should be understood that you must have the faith in your own abilities to the extent that you can analyze, make a choice, then act with ease and comfort. This challenge is one that is normally found on in a highly evolved individual and an individual who can be expected to make their own decisions about life and know where the pitfalls lie. To meet the challenge of 0 you must have control of all of the numbers. You will need the independence of 1, the diplomacy of 2, the optimism of 3, the application of 4, the understanding of 5, the adjustment of 6, the wisdom of the 7, the constructive power of 8, the universal service of 9. In other words, to meet the challenge of 0 in your life, you must be a very gifted person.

Your fourth challenge will last for the remainder of your life, and is a number 0. The obstacles life during this period may not be many, or they may be coming from all directions. The challenge of the number 0 is called the challenge of choice. You are likely to have difficulty acting on your preferences. You are perfectly capable of analyzing a situation and realistically comparing possible solutions. The challenge of 0 may make bring this decision to requisite action very difficult for you. To overcome the challenge, it should be understood that you must have the faith in your own abilities to the extent that you can analyze, make a choice, then act with ease and comfort. This challenge is one that is normally found on in a highly evolved individual and an individual who can be expected to make their own decisions about life and know where the pitfalls lie. To meet the challenge of 0 you must have control of all of the numbers. You will need the independence of 1, the diplomacy of 2, the optimism of 3, the application of 4, the understanding of 5, the adjustment of 6, the wisdom of the 7, the constructive power of 8, the universal service of 9. In other words, to meet the challenge of 0 in your life, you must be a very gifted person.

All content is © Michael McClain 1997. Permission is granted for unlimited noncommercial use. All other rights reserved. Visit Michael’s excellent web site at www.astrology-numerology.com to learn how to make your own readings.

Report generated by Virtual Numerologist, © 2000 Tooth and Nail Design.

I’m so tired of making sure that everyone’s feelings aren’t hurt. Would anyone think of how I’d feel before they go ahead and do whatever it is they do? Just this month, I’ve held in so much frustration I could implode, but no, no one really cares. I hold it in not because I can’t deal with a confrontation, but rather I do not want to hurt others. I feel a lot… A whole lot of random small things affect me and I don’t want my disorder or inability to keep a lid on my emotions to hurt others and I hold it in. What’s truly upsetting is the fact that more than a few people know this and yet keep doing the things they do. I’m tired of changing, of trying to amalgamate my feelings to the emotional climate around me.

This could be a blog post uncalled for, but right now, all I really feel like doing is crying my eyes out but I’m in uni’s library forcing myself to finish this chapter before rushing off to accompany someone 45 mins drive away even though I’m mad as hell at said person. Why the fuck do I do this to myself?