I don’t know anymore if it is a good thing to have experienced most of the world at 23. I don’t know if it’s to my benefit that I’ve lived alone (whether working or just immersing myself in that city for at least 2 months) in a number of foreign places at 23. The experiences have opened my eyes, have changed my view on things, have made me who I am, but at the same time I now feel displaced. I don’t know where home is anymore.

People say that home is where the heart is, but when there’s not all that much heart for one, then what can we say brings us home? I love my dad, and he is in Singapore, but I feel like an outsider in my supposed home country. I don’t feel accepted or like I fit in with the rest of the people back “home”. I like being in Melbourne, but I can’t see myself here forever; there’s just something missing in this place. There’s no… magic, not the magic that gravitates me towards Hong Kong. I’d pick moving to Hong Kong and starting my adult life there, but there’s still something missing.

Am I doing this wrong? Am I looking for something that will never be there? I wonder if my search to find a place for myself is deluded.

I feel lost, I’m 23 and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. My student life ends in less than a year and I’m supposed to know what I want. After all, my dad has invested in me at least a quarter of a million, and all I can say is “I want to be somewhere that feels right to me”.

christmas wish list

and the planning of the christmas eve shenanigans at JMG’s. i foresee the parental units screaming when they see the shopping list from here to carry back to singers. i usually don’t do much for the family party but since i missed out on the Koh’s annual thanksgiving and will be on the christmas bash in hk, i’ll bring some of the party home to 32!

I have been nothing but civil to you people and the last thing I deserve is for you to act like you own me! Bringing me up was your choice so do not blame me for your bad choices! I certainly did not choose to grow up in this messed up society, so if anyone is to blame, you are for being selfish!

I am NOT spoilt! Do not ever call me spoilt. If I were spoilt, I’d be driving my little M3 around Melbourne and shopping only on Collins street. If u were spoilt, I would not have to save so don’t fucking call me spoilt when my parents do not even let me make my own decisions on things, for if I were spoilt, I’d be the happiest person alive but I’m not. In fact, I feel very upset and wished I were dead so the next time anyone wants to shoot their mouths off saying I’m spoilt, keep this in mind. TYVM!!!

So I’m back home after 5 days of eating and gambling. It’s the first ever sober CNY because mom was staring me every time I went near the bar. I’d like to apologize to everyone I didn’t catch up with. It was too short a trip to do anything except the obligatory smile and answer when aunts and uncles repeat the same questions they do every year.

I don’t think I could do CNY if mom wasn’t that insistent on the family doing it. The noise, the relatives and the weight one inadvertently puts on really does irritate me. The only upside is the CASH, and I keep telling myself it’s shopping money so bear with it. CNY really does feel more and more like a chore and I’m glad that the family is planning on going away next year, hopefully to somewhere cold and CNY-less

would I have to beg and grovel?

I’m just hoping Daddy-O’s in a good festive mood this year. That and time is against me. I have exactly four days to make my case and then procure them all! Wish me luck

I never realized how crude Hokkien sounds until today. That, and how I still, after 21 years of living in our sunny little island cannot understand Hokkien beyond the very colorful phrases ;p But OMG PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO WATCH “MONEY NO ENOUGH 2“!! Yes, my mom bought the DVD. And I had to rewind the damn movie at least five times because I was online and I had to read the subtitles to understand what the hell was going on. How much Hokkien do people speak in Singapore anyway? I seriously haven’t heard that much being spoken back home – it’s always a smattering of Singlish anyway.

I’m tickled by the ERP joke that was in the beginning and I’m almost at the end of the movie. Mark Lee’s character in the film was going on about how the CTE should have two ERP gantries, the first one to deduct your money and the second for “putting” your money back in if you’re caught in a jam!!!!! I’m sorry I think I’m very very lame right now because I’ve been playing Pet Society for ages!!

And OH MY GOD! The little girls who were made to 跑歌台. Ade, it’s so 普威之夜!!

EVERYONE FROM SINGAPORE!!! YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT! IT’S EFF-ING HILARIOUS!!!!!!

Channelnewsasia.com.

Worth a read, and no I’m not even going to express my opinion because it might

1. come across as bigoted
2. attract the attention of the little MDA elves who sit around all day googling blogs that touch on Singapore politics

The Lexus Cup is on from 28-30 Nov and I won’t be there!!

My Paula Creamer!!!!!!

I never realized the tiny little red dot had this many world class sporting events until I left. Awww, I’m so proud of the sunny island.

Salary Scale for 100+ Singapore Jobs! (2008) | Singapore Search Site

That is pathetic. I love my little island but we are underpaid and overworked! That, and I cannot comprehend why on earth we are always portrayed as economically stable when the government cannot admit recession without the use of quotation marks.

This rant is completely uncalled for since I’m hiding out in school, under daddy-o’s wonderful bond-less scholarship. Also, I’m not affected by the 21% rise in electricity bills back home. Bless my poor baby brother… I sense the mother is about to put in an airconditioning ban at home -__- But I’m bored and when I read too much, my mind takes everything and makes it about me

High-flying hedge fund falls back to earth

To all you annoying boy bankers who rubbed this in my face just a year ago, HA HA. Yes, I’m a bitter bitch but some people don’t deserve sympathy. Especially YOU! I’d be more sympathetic but for all the drama you put me through… NO WAY! Honestly, I don’t think this is affecting you that much back home, but I’d like to think it does so I feel better about the way we left things

How great! We can now protest without having to apply for a permit. We’re advancing as a society, yay!

The demonstrations may relate to anything except matters concerning race and religion.

Placards, banners, effigies and self-powered handheld amplification devices such as loudhailers will be allowed at the Speakers’ Corner.

(you have to love the fact that “self-powered handheld amplification devices” are allowed)

I await, with bated breath, for statistics on both the number of arrests (for demonstrations relating to “sensitive” topics), and the number of demonstrations itself (which I’m pretty sure will be closer to zero, as we’re all imbeciles with no points of views).

Channelnewsasia.com.

In the interest of my personal safety and ensuring that I’m able to re-enter my beloved sunny island, HERE’S the more interesting post. Well, that and the fact that I’m practicing the infamous act of self-censorship, an apparent expertise of ALL Singaporeans.