cherylanne.net

Because Yang and I have upgraded from BV to H in a matter of a month, I want that ‘thing’ from B!

No Yang, I’m not asking for it. If I were to ask for something like that, it would be a C?

I think blogging leads one to become increasingly self-absorbed because one blogs about the self so much. Or maybe I just am this pathetically self-absorbed. Yes, it’s probably that and it’s led to the degradation of my social life!

Channelnewsasia.com.

Worth a read, and no I’m not even going to express my opinion because it might

1. come across as bigoted
2. attract the attention of the little MDA elves who sit around all day googling blogs that touch on Singapore politics

I think I’m broken.

The lack of sleep has gotten to me and my head is pounding and I feel like I will pass out if I stand up!

It’s freaky how this can be so accurate sometimes.

You are longing for a little love and tenderness. At present you are feeling very sensitive and need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. You don’t need any further stresses, strains or arguments so take a deep breath and relax.

For some time now you may have been subjected to considerable physical illness and or emotional distress. This may have taken a severe toll and you feel both physically and mentally worn out. Your self esteem has been reduced and you now need a peaceful environment which will permit you to effect full recovery.

It’s the old old story - I am misunderstood - my partner (be it in your private life or in business) just doesn’t understand me, and you also believe at this time that you are being completely misunderstood by one and all. It then obviously follows that you naturally feel inhibited and not appreciated. It is perhaps because of this belief that you feel compelled to stand back and let the rest of the world go by. As for developing a firm relationship - inwardly deep down in your subconscious mind you are wary of even trying to get close to another person because you feel that if you open up your heart and feelings you are sure to get hurt. Since you are living in a society where close relationships are the norm, you feel that there is that need to conform, but any close relationships of any magnitude that you may have tried in the past have unfortunately left you without any sense of emotional involvement.

Having experienced considerable disappointment of late and not knowing quite what to do about it this has led you to suffer a great deal of agitation and anxiety. You are trying very hard to make favourable impressions all round. You feel that you have a right to do anything that you wish without being condemned for your beliefs. Everything seems to be going against you and you feel helpless to change the situation. The possibility of failure is most upsetting and this situation is leading to untold stress. You honestly believe that the situation is not of your making - it is not your fault - you have been misled and abused by those that you trusted, but you are trying to look at the situation quite dispassionately. Would you perhaps not agree that this situation could be regarded as unrealistic self justification?

You are worn out - suffering from what has been described as ‘burnout’ and nothing seems to stimulate you to break away from this state of lethargy. This situation is causing an acute distress situation and not being able immediately to resolve the problems is exposing you to excess stress and tension. You are endeavouring to break away from this situation by withdrawing into a state of ‘Never Never Land’ - an illusory substitute world in which things could be as you would like them to be. Now is the time to take time-out - to relax. A short break is all that you need and you will find that matters will resolve themselves.

To high and dry…

The Lexus Cup is on from 28-30 Nov and I won’t be there!!

My Paula Creamer!!!!!!

I never realized the tiny little red dot had this many world class sporting events until I left. Awww, I’m so proud of the sunny island.

RMIT has the worst fucking way of organizing courses. If I have to stay an extra semester next year to finish one course, I swear I will fucking quit school. I’m so sick of dealing with these people who don’t know what they are fucking doing. You would think that paying a ridiculous amount for an education would at least give you some leeway in courses you want to do and when, but NO FUCKING WAY!

This has officially taken over Semester 2 2007 as the WORST SEMESTER OF MY UNI LIFE!

I feel like the most horrible girlfriend ever because all I ever do is whinge and get pissy with my boyfriend (for the most stupid reasons) even though I should be supporting him. I feel like I’m shit at everything in life because I can’t fucking manage my relationships and moods.

I’m fucking sitting in the labs trying not to cry my fucking eyes out but I can’t because I’m so fucking weak.

IT MUST BE THE FREAK WEATHER THAT IS UPON MELBOURNE!

I think it’s hitting me so hard because I really want to move away, and because I’m sick of doing the long distance thing. I just want June to come around so I can finally wake up every morning to the person I love. That and the fact that those crazy dreams seem to get worse.

edit: I shall delete whatever I said before about letting go because that was a stupid comment to make. I can’t let go so there’s no need for anyone or me to make that decision. That, and the fact that he has been the BEST to me!

edit2: I’m editing again because I scared a few people, and those aren’t the friends who I’m running away from. In fact, the people who I want to come up to me and confront me aren’t doing it -___-

In light of my darling Yang’s latest blog post, I decided to re-watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the millionth time and I’ve decided than J has to watch the WHOLE movie at least once with me

Paul Varjak: You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

Then I realized that everything that I stood for before, every time I said I was strong and that I didn’t need love, I was really running away from this deep-rooted fear of being unwanted. Of being abandoned. Where that stemmed from I don’t know and at this point, do not wish to explore but now that I’ve found something so precious, I’m terrified.

Doc Golightly: I love you Lula Mae.
Holly Golightly: I know you do, and that’s just the trouble. It’s the mistake you always made, Doc, trying to love a wild thing. You were always lugging home wild things. Once it was a hawk with a broken wing… and another time it was a full-grown wildcat with a broken leg. Remember?
Doc Golightly: Lula Mae there’s something…
Holly Golightly: You musn’t give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they’re strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky.

And I hope, with all my heart that I’m stronger than Ms Golightly because loving someone does not chase them away. I want to believe that being in love and falling in love more and more binds you tighter to someone, and so far I’ve done well