I’m so tired of making sure that everyone’s feelings aren’t hurt. Would anyone think of how I’d feel before they go ahead and do whatever it is they do? Just this month, I’ve held in so much frustration I could implode, but no, no one really cares. I hold it in not because I can’t deal with a confrontation, but rather I do not want to hurt others. I feel a lot… A whole lot of random small things affect me and I don’t want my disorder or inability to keep a lid on my emotions to hurt others and I hold it in. What’s truly upsetting is the fact that more than a few people know this and yet keep doing the things they do. I’m tired of changing, of trying to amalgamate my feelings to the emotional climate around me.
This could be a blog post uncalled for, but right now, all I really feel like doing is crying my eyes out but I’m in uni’s library forcing myself to finish this chapter before rushing off to accompany someone 45 mins drive away even though I’m mad as hell at said person. Why the fuck do I do this to myself?
Really glad that I had the talk with with you tonight. Babe, you know who you are
I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but my friendship and concern I give out to the close ones around me are genuine. I do get frustrated at situations, I do get upset, but at the end of the day, I will never give up on the ones I care for.
I do feel bad for being upset and frustrated at the situation, and I hope this doesn’t cause us strain because your friendship means a whole lot to me. The frustration has never been directed at you and I’m sorry if it seemed like it was. Ultimately, I care for you and love you and wouldn’t want this friendship to end so I’m glad I talked to you tonight
So I’m sitting by my window staring out into the neighbour’s apartment, after John Mayer’s amazing concert and I feel (for the lack of a better word) bleargh.
I’ve a paper that is overdue and somehow I cannot find it within me to get down to it. Don’t know what I’m doing anymore but I’m spiraling, way out of control. It feels like I’m a train wreck waiting to happen and I’m watching my life derail right before my very eyes. I think tonight, I’ll give myself a night off and cry myself to bed willing with every fibre in my being that when I awake tomorrow, things will start looking up.
With my friends, I do not expect, neither do I demand… I just hope.
With you however, I do not dare to harbor even hope… I just want to be there.
It’s been a while, and I’ve learnt that it isn’t rejection that hurts, it is going to bed thinking of you and wanting to tell you how I feel but can’t that truly, really, deeply hurts.
Good old-fashioned chivalry is not dead after all. I believe in the distinction of the sexes, that no matter what, women need to be protected and cared for by men. So thank you
Just what I need home sick and nursing the worst throat. Since there’s no Gossip Girl this week, I take comfort in this little thing that CW made up. This and hot honey lemon should get me through today. Till my demons return to haunt me when I attempt to sleep tonight
Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little a kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
That's is all I need
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
Yeaah...
Cause I don't belong to anyone
And nobody belongs to me
all i really want is b’s massive bear hug and his soothing voice telling me that everything will be alright. it’s sad looking back at what could have been but we’re better this way. i don’t know why i’ve all these pent up emotions. maybe it’s because of k’s phone call or the fact that tomorrow is the sixth year of our promise to each other. to always be there through the good and bad, to smile through the pain and to cry from happiness. b, your love and support mean the world to me, and i’m so thankful to have met you. sydney will come around quick, where i will promise my undying loyalty to you in person!
remember b, you’re the dai kor i’ve never had and you will always be family. and by family, you know that i will do ANYTHING for you! smile my love, because come sydney, your wallet will be crying so don’t be doing no crying till then
all my love,
cher
p/s, i know i’m meant to be giving you <3 but i know you always feel better when i have a big cry on your shoulders because it makes you feel needed… so here is my cry for your shoulder.
b: it's all been planned out for u bum. cuz it's u, u get to pick if i get u from the airport or ifc. remember, it's u, k and me against time. just like always
